Learning to be alone without being lonely

On move-out day, I came to the realization that this is goodbye to living in Seattle and also goodbye to living alone. I loved living alone. If you ever have the chance to get your own space, especially in your 20’s, I highly recommend it.

3 years ago, I moved out of California into my first studio apartment in Washington. It was really hard at first, but growing is never easy. My first night, I remember huddling up in the corner with my baby blankets bawling all night. I was uncomfortable with the silence and I was uncomfortable with the fact that my family wasn’t just a 15-minute drive away anymore.

Overtime, it became easier as I was forced to curate my outside world so that it fulfilled me with friends and activities that made me feel at home.

Living alone taught me to be happy with myself. It gave me the freedom to choose what I wanted to do with my time and which relationships I wanted to invest in. I learned that silence can be peaceful. Many rainy days were spent devouring books, writing in my journal, and just learning what it means to have “me time”.

I can’t emphasize how empowering it is to finally have enough self-confidence to say, “Pick me up and throw me anywhere. I know I’ll be okay on my own.” (Okay, any large metropolitan city. A girl’s gotta shop and have access to dim sum.) I learned to be proud of who I am, proud of who I surround myself with, and proud of the decisions I make.

As much as I loved living by myself, now I love being with my boyfriend more. I know I wouldn’t be this happy in my relationship without having spent these years learning to be happy on my own. Seattle will always be my city; Paris will be ours.