I knew this question would come eventually, so I had a while to decide how much I wanted to share. A few people confessed to putting a hold on even applying abroad because of relationships, so hopefully this will help a bit.
- Focus on getting the opportunity first. Don’t over-stress about decisions you don’t have to make yet.
- Be transparent with your significant other and ready to listen.
- Try not to blame someone for not wanting the same thing you do. (I’ve made this mistake in the past.) Almost everyone will say they wish they could live abroad, but can’t follow through when actually faced with the decision. If someone’s not ready, you can’t force it.
To answer about jobs first: per my other post, I’ve been searching for an overseas position for the past two years, which was much longer than I expected. For Tyler, he’s a consultant and ROCKS at his job. His company wants to keep him so they’re letting him work remotely from Paris(!) He still travels back to his US clients every month or so. Not many people can do this and I’m really proud of him 🙂
On “convincing”: at this stage in my life and career, I would never ask a significant other to move for me. I decided that if I were to move in with someone and move to another country together, it would have to be an agreed-upon goal from both sides, not a compromise. Would I have done long-distance? With Tyler, I would have. (Good thing we didn’t though, because I probably would have been a pain ;)).
When I met Tyler, I was upfront in the beginning and told him, “Hey, there’s this thing I’ve been chasing for a while. I don’t know when or if it’ll happen, but I want to know what you think.” He told me about his own experience studying in Japan and joked, “I’d probably just come with you. I already have the accents in ‘Côté’ going for me.” In all seriousness though, we are extremely compatible: independent, supportive of each other, sensitive, and intentional in our life decisions. It’s the kind of relationship where you find yourself staring into each other’s eyes over dinner… and both tearing up because you’re so happy and thankful to be experiencing something like this together.
So I guess in a nutshell that’s how it happened 🙂